I wasn’t going to, but I am

here is a song I just wrote:

How Shall I Stand? (Inspired by Luke 21:36)

Glory, Glory, Lord you are grand
Finally coming to heal our land
I am unworthy, wretched and wrong
How then shall I stand?
Lord, please make me stand!

The Son of Man
Is coming in glory
How shall I stand; how shall I stand
Radiant beauty
Perfect is He
How shall I stand
How shall I stand

Out of the darkness I see your light shine
Here comes your kingdom in power divine
Honor and reverence your presence demands
How then shall I stand?
Lord, please make me stand!

The Son of Man
Is coming in glory
How shall I stand; how shall I stand
Radiant beauty
Perfect is He
How shall I stand
How shall I stand

Though I am broken, I cry out to you
Cleanse my heart – unfaithful, untrue
Your perfect blood my only relief
It’s hard to believe I stand
Lord, you make me stand!

The Son of Man
Is coming in glory
How shall I stand; how shall I stand
Radiant beauty
Perfect is He
How shall I stand
By His blood I stand!

Glory! Glory! Lord you are good!
I lift up my hands and cry as I should
This gift you have given, I can’t understand
Why you’d make me stand…
Glory! Glory! Lord you are good!
I lift up my hands and cry as I should
This gift you have given, I can’t understand
Why you’d make me stand
Lord, you make me stand
Your blood makes me stand
Lord, you make me stand

————————–——–

Luke 21:36:
“Be always on the watch, and pray that you may be able to escape all that is about to happen, and that you may be able to stand before the Son of Man.”

October 19, 2008 at 1:20 am 5 comments

Positive Post Wednesday

None of you know my grandfather, I don’t even know him very well. I never got to see him very much. Most of my life was spent living in a different state than him, and the years we lived in the same state were my younger years. When we all lived in New York, my family would go camping on the St. Lawrence River in the summer, and those were the only times we really got to see grandpa. Since we moved from there, I’ve seen him at 2 family reunions and visited him in Florida one summer. He is a sweet man. He is a generous man. He is a loving man. When I was a young child, I was always more interested in playing than chatting with the grown ups, but even then he would show us where the toys were, the video games… make sure we were fed and having fun. Every year on our birthdays he would mail his grandchildren a card with a $20 check in it. At one family reunion he took on the task of handing out squirt guns to his grandchildren and great grandchildren, much to their parents dismay. At the other one I heard a story about how he chastised my cousin for a choice she had made, his tears evidence of his love for her and his disappointment in where she went wrong. My grandpa is a very strong man and also very stubborn. A few weeks ago he had some pain in his chest and left arm as he was putting his bike away. He wrote it off as a result of lifting the bike. A few days ago, he consented to go to the hospital. He was diagnosed as having congestive heart failure. The doctors say he has 2-3 days to live at most in the hospital he’s in or he can be transferred to a facility where he might have a couple weeks. I wish I had spent more time with him and got to know him better. The good news is, he is a follower of Christ. Whether he dies tonight or in 20 years I will get to know him better, because we have the same father, and for that, I am truly thankful.

—-edit—-

Know You More

When having fun was all that mattered
And I had family all around
I forfeited my chance to know you more

When selfishness consumed me
And you “wouldn’t understand”
I forfeited my chance to know you more

And now the time has come
For the Lord to call you home
And I don’t know that I’m ready to let go

The cold keeps getting colder
And the silence gets more silent
My heart, it’s slowly breaking
And my tears, they get more violent

Now your life is all that matters
And it quickly slips away
And I forfeited my chance to know you more

The cold keeps getting colder
And the silence gets more silent
My heart, it’s slowly breaking
And my tears, they get more violent

And when this is all over
And we meet beyond heavens doors
Maybe then I’ll take forever to know you more

October 8, 2008 at 5:01 pm 4 comments

More Permanent

I’m thinking about making my hiatus more permanent and less encompassing. I think I won’t be posting here anymore, but allow myself to get online occassionally. This last week, I feel like I’ve been much happier than I normally am. So I love you all and hope God blesses you so abundantly! You can e-mail me anytime you want –> Anon4him@gmail.com

I may drop by time to time to check your blogs, but probably not so frequently. *hugs love and prayer*

also, I love the song Every Little Thing by Hawk Nelson

September 28, 2008 at 2:48 pm 2 comments

Psuedo Hiatus

I’m addicted to the internet – a lot! So, for the next week I’m not going to get online. Already I’m wanting to make allowances for such and such a case, but the fact is, I haven’t been reading my bible, I haven’t been praying as much as I ought to, I’ve been staying up till ridiculous hours, and I really need to cut this thing down with a big machete! So, I’m gonna start out small. One week. One week isn’t going to make or break me and I need to loosten the grip that has been squeezing the real life out of me. If you need to get ahold of me (psh, haha, that’s right no one here really knows me much ‘cept Raquel) you can call me.  Umm… since Raquel is the only person who has my number, if you don’t need to call me, but want to chat you can ask her for it. Manyways, *hugs love and prayer* I’d really appreciate prayer from all of you… I’ve been struggling with some things lately… big, important, direction of my life things. I hope you all have a blessed week!

September 21, 2008 at 12:01 pm 3 comments

My (not) Perfect Day

Yesterday wasn’t perfect, but it was pretty close. Here are some bullet points:

  • I didn’t have to babysit because my niece wasn’t feeling well.
  • I bought groceries at Meijer for scalped potatoes and ham, green beans and mini-apple pies.
  • I slammed on my breaks to avoid running a stop sign
  • I spent all afternoon preparing said food.
  • Brought said food over to an ill friends’ apartment where we enjoyed a luke-warm meal, watched some Family Guy, watched Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, washed some dishes, watched a few music videos, and read a couple chapters of Proverbs.
  • I slammed on my breaks to avoid running a red light (This was the first day I’ve ever really had to slam on my breaks)
  • I got home at around 1, and fell asleep on my bed.

September 17, 2008 at 4:18 pm 4 comments

It’s A Good Answer

“Because my head is filled with questions and I can assure you no answer to any one of them has ever brought me one iota of happiness. Except for one. The one. The only question I’ve ever wanted an answer to – is she the one? The answer bloody well isn’t forty-two, it’s yes. Undoubtedly, unequivocally, unabashadly yes. And for one week, one week in my sad little blip of an existence, it made me happy.”

September 17, 2008 at 2:10 pm Leave a comment

Abrasive

The words came to me: “I fear my personality may be too abrasive for any one man to handle.” And then I realized I wasn’t exactly sure wheat abrasive meant. So, naturally, before changing my Facebook status, I meandered over to dictionary.com, where they kindly told me its meaning. It told me all sorts of applications ranging from “any material or substance used for grinding, polishing, etc., as emery, pumice, or sandpaper” to “tending to annoy or cause ill will; overly aggressive” to “Harsh and rough in manner.” I tended to apply the latter two to my personality and so, I changed my status. Then, I thought more about the first definition. Could my personality possibly be abrasive in that sense… in the way that my personality would polish or edify others? Perhaps that could be the reason my personality is so obtrusive, aggressive and rough. I flatter myself that I played some part in Zach becoming the more outgoing man that he is today, though in all likelihood it was the transition to college that encouraged his growth in that area. Logic! Stop crushing my dreams, man! But what if I’m right. What if God is using me to smooth out the rough edges that some possess by the very rough edges that I possess? What if he’s using me to polish these gems that they might be another’s treasure? I would he let me polish them for my own happiness, though I suppose I should rejoice at everything that’s done for God’s glory. *sigh* The thoughts of a narcissist… I shall go on with the personality God hath given me and seek to edify others as well as myself.

September 14, 2008 at 8:02 pm 2 comments

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