Posts filed under ‘softball’

check for $1000

So, there is a check for $1000 sitting on my bed payable to Holly ********** and Lansing Community College. This check is from the Rodney B. Wilson scholarship that I received my senior year of high school and it is renewable for 4 years. I thought that I lost it because I didn’t go to college during the Fall semester last year. The fact that they sent me a check would suggest otherwise. In the mail today, I also received a letter from Cedarville saying that they have successfully deferred my enrollment until next fall. The way I see it, I have an option. I can call the Wilson foundation and inform them that I will not be attending college this year, and maintain my 2 years of eligibility for softball at CU and lose the scholarship for good or I can use the scholarship that I’ve been given to take some more classes at LCC and earn credits toward my degree at CU, but sadly drop a year of eligibility in the process. I definitely need lots of prayer on this one.


August 14, 2008 at 1:03 pm 2 comments

There’s a Fork

Perhaps my proverbial fork is not quite so clear as the one my niece, Bethany, is gladly showing, but I believe it is there none the less. At this point in my life, I can see it proceeding into the fall in two ways: 1) Me receiving the financial aid necessary for me to go to Cedarville, where I will play softball for another year, and sadly miss another Harvest Party or 2) Me failing to receive the funds necessary for me to go to CU in the fall, and instead, babysitting my niece, Emily, and saving my money so I can hopefully either go to Cedarville for the Spring semester or even begin anew next year (but luckily be able to go to the Harvest Party). Personally, both of these have their ups and downs, and I feel like listing them.

CU positives:

  1. Play softball
  2. Be surrounded by godly young men and women
  3. Get my Education degree
  4. Have the opportunity to become part of a larger community and serve others outside of my current community
  5. Make new friends
  6. Become better friends with others
  7. Possibly meet my husband

CU negatives:

  1. Incur a lot of debt
  2. Miss the Harvest Party
  3. Rarely see my friends from Michigan
  4. Rarely see my family
  5. Have the stress that naturally comes with going to school

Not going to CU positives:

  1. Earn and Save money
  2. Spend more time with certain family members
  3. Help out a sister in need of child care
  4. Have lots of free time
  5. Not incur large amounts of debt
  6. Be flexible
  7. Leaves the possibility of going to New Tribes open

Not going to CU negatives:

  1. Less likely that I’ll be able to play college softball again
  2. Miss out on some great experiences
  3. Feeling awkward because I told a bunch of people I am going to Cedarville
  4. Not hanging out with some new friends I’ve made via facebook who will be going to CU
  5. It may be more difficult to get scholarships the longer I wait
  6. I will let Coach Rowe and the team down, because they were counting on me playing
  7. I won’t get to meet all of those godly young men and women

So, as you can see… there is a lot to be said for both. I think of all those, the main reason I would want to go would be to not let down my coach and teammates, and the reason I would want to not go would be to stay out of debt. I went to this seminar hosted by Send International maybe 2 years ago, and they said that if you want to be a missionary, one of the best things you can do is not have debt. If I go to CU, I will have debt. The only way I won’t have debt is if God provides finances other than loans for me (which is very possible as nothing is impossible with God). If God’s will is for me to be a missionary, it stands to reason that he would not have me study Early Childhood Education at Cedarville. However, I don’t know that God is calling me to be a missionary. Wow, I just got so off topic. The point is, without debt, if God called me, it would be easier to go.

Anyways, I will be trying to gain the financial aid necessary to go to Cedarville, and if I do not receive it, then I think it’s a pretty clear sign that CU is not where God has put me for this fall. If I do receive it, it’s all God 🙂 I love my God and how great he is!

Your prayers are much appreciated!

July 23, 2008 at 12:13 am 3 comments

Majorly Stressin!

Could I please get y’all to pray for me? I’ve been way stressed out about school lately! Currently, I am planning to go to Cedarville University in the fall and major in Early Childhood Education. I also plan on playing softball while I’m there. I’ve been having some trouble figuring out how this all is going to work and my faith is not what it should be. As of right now, without any loans, I will owe CU about $25,000. I do not have $25,000. As a child I was never taught to save my money, so right now I’ve only got a little over $450 in the bank, which most of will probably go towards buying catcher’s gear. My mom has never been a saver either, and as such she has no funding to provide towards my college education. In fact, my mom actually has had some credit issues in the past which would prevent her from cosigning on a loan with me. So here I am… no job, no money, seemingly no way to get loans except possibly those with some ridiculous interest rate. Not to mention there seems to be no shortage of Elementary school teachers. *deep breath* Could it be that everything that was seemingly leading me to Cedarville was just coincidence?

Aside from the financial difficulties, I’ve also felt some promptings toward missionary work. Go figure! So on one hand I have the very expensive school where I would play softball and get to be surrounded by godly young men and women. On that same hand I have the chance meeting of the softball team while on Spring training in Florida, and the chance discussion with the coach’s daughter who was reading the same passage of Isaiah as I was and mentioned that they might need catchers for the upcoming year, and the chance meeting of their coach who told me to e-mail him without even having seen me play. On the other hand I have the great commission, possibly 2 years at New Tribes Ministry with significantly less financing, living with men and women of faith, and all the messages I’ve been hearing recently about faith and surrender.

Lord, where is surrender? Lord, where is faith? Am I believing You for financing for Cedarville? Certainly, if that’s your will, it will be done. The whole world is yours; $25,000 isn’t a grain of sand compared to all you are and all you have. Am I surrendering softball and everything that seemed to lead me to Cedarville to live a life of servitude in another country? Will I be blessed with the fire of your Holy Spirit and demonstrate your great love to those who have yet to learn your Name? In what manner am I to serve you? Lord, remove my doubt and lead me on in triumphal procession! Show me how I am to serve you! Lord, if that is you, tell me to come! It may not be the best night for water-walking, but who can resist your will? With you, the impossible is done.

Please pray for me! May God bless you now and always!


And this was less stressful and more fun:

🙂 Photo-editing makes me happy… and completely unrelated, but for some reason I’m craving dill chips. Weird.. I don’t think that’s ever happened before.

June 23, 2008 at 10:58 pm 6 comments

Moving On (Hopefully)

You know how sometimes it feels like so much has happened, but nothing has changed? That’s where I’m at right now. In the past year I’ve been broken up with, lost my softball scholarship, got and left my frist job at McDonald’s, lived with my sister’s family in Wisconsin for 4 months, watched 2 sisters get married, had 2 sisters give birth with another one very pregnant right now, got my softball scholarship back for the Spring semester, taken more college classes, become a first baseman rather than a catcher, went to Florida for Spring training where I met up with the Cedarville softball team, had Cedarville interested in me playing softball for them, applied and been accepted to Cedarville, had a softball season record of 50 – 5, Won States, Won Regionals, come in 4th place in Nationals, had a few coffee visits with Michael, had a few talks with Trisha and Julie, had a few random interactions with Charlie, had a few crushes (which didn’t last long) because in spite of all of this that has happened, I’m still not over the first thing on my list. I still have tremendous feelings for that boy that I said I would always love and never leave. When I said I’ll always love you, you know I meant for good. My friends are hoping for a change though. They don’t want me to be hung up on Zach because they seem to “know” that God has someone better for me. Someone more wonderful than I could ever imagine… I’m getting light-headed just thinking about it! I don’t believe anywhere in the bible it promises that God has an amazing young man who is going to find me and love me in God’s time, but at the same time it is such a wonderful thing to hope for. The hope that some man out there will love me despite of how I’ve failed before, who will love me despite my flaws, who will love me despite my weaknesses. If there is such a man out there so willing to love me and to forgive me and at the same time be head and shoulders above Zach… well wow… then I am getting way more than I deserve. It’s hard to imagine that this wonderful man would fall for me, rather than one of my very intelligent, talented, beautiful, funny peers with amazing personalities, but I can’t deny that that is what I would hope for. I’m pretty selfish that way. I want the best even though I don’t deserve it: I certainly will try my best to deserve it though. All I can do is try to be that wonderful godly woman that such a man would want to take as his bride, and right now I’m not doing such a great job of it. I’ve been pretty messed lately. I’ve been falling way out of touch with God. I only read my bible every few days and my thoughts are often far from holy – I tend to think that God doesn’t want his children hoping for death or feeling hatred for each other or just thinking on worldly things in general, none of which have been foreign to me as of late. I want to get back to God and back to the basics, but for some reason it’s just seemed so hard to do lately and I think most of it goes back to situation #1. Something must be very deep-seeded in me that I just won’t let go. Something not birthed out of love, but possibly out of lust. Something that doesn’t belong to me. I would appreciate any prayers that you would lift up for me about this agonizing situation. Thank you.

May 20, 2008 at 9:35 pm Leave a comment

Goodbye – Audio A

I’m gonna miss my teammates. I love them all very dearly. And yes, when we lost 4-3 to finish 4th in Nationals I cried like a baby. Not because we lost, but because we lost each other.

May 17, 2008 at 5:51 pm 2 comments

Flirting Makes Friends :-)

So, I made a new friend today. (And no, I was not the one flirting). After softball practice today, our team went to Applebee’s for our shortstop’s birthday. My teammates decided that our waiter was hot, so they started flirting with him and pawned it off on me. They said that I wanted to be called sweetheart and there I sat with my face turning red and occasionally pulling my sweatshirt hood over my face to hide my embarrassment. Jill decided she wanted to take this teasing further and asked the waiter if he was seeing anyone (she was asking for me of course *rolls eyes*). Anyway, he gave me his phone number. Because this amused me and a guy was actually forward for once I played the smart card and asked him how he felt about Jesus. 🙂 Is there any better question? haha ^_^ In so many words, the answer was yes. I gave him a call and we chatted about half an hour. We each put an honesty forward, and while our imperfections are apparent, I think we’ll handle them all tolerably well. My new friend is 10 years older than me, making it very unlikely that a romantic relationship will form, but I’ve got a new friend and brother in Christ, and I’m sure we’ll enjoy hanging out. I love making friends 🙂

Also, on an almost related note, I hate losing friends.


On a barely related note, my softball team is going to Nationals this week. We leave tomorrow morning and will be gone until Saturday night (hopefully). Wish us luck! Pray for fast bats and errorless innings! It would be S-WEET to come away from Nationals with a ring on my finger. I would never need a wedding ring if I had a National Championship ring 😉 Anyway, social life is over until softball is over. So, hope you all have a wonderful week and I’ll join you again when softball is out of the way!

On a completely unrelated note, this “warm apple pie” candle smells absolutely amazing… if it was a man I would marry it… okay, not really…. I want my man to smell like a man and not like a candle.

May 12, 2008 at 10:09 pm 4 comments

Life and a poem

So, my birthday was on Saturday, and actually it was hugely disappointing from noon until 7. Before hand I was doing well as my mommy bought me chocolate and a tiara (cause I’m her princess). Then I went to softball, and as life would have it, my birthday was forgotten about by my coaches and we lost 2 of 3 games. Not gonna lie, I cried. I don’t know why we put so much emphasis on birthdays, and I know that it shouldn’t have mattered to me, but it did. It was upsetting. Anyway, after that I was at a baby shower for my sister for a couple hours which wasn’t too bad, albeit fairly boring. I did get to hold a few beautiful children though, and that’s always fun. Afterwards my family and my friend Lauren all traveled up to St. Johns to eat some delicious food. And it was delicious and fun. And Lisa gave me a birthday plate ^_^ I love my friends! They rock my socks! Then I hung out with Lauren till midnight when she went home… and I quite possibly cried some more because the person I consider my closest friend didn’t call or message me to tell my happy birthday. Oh, also, I slid during one of the games and tore my leg open, so it was oozing all night… and is still oozing now.

Yesterday was much better- by far! In fact, yesterday was so good I’m thinking about celebrating my birthday on April 20th from now on. We had a couple more games yesterday, and since my softball team felt bad about my coach forgetting my birthday the day before they got me some bubbles, a really soft blanket, and they all signed a softball for me and sang happy birthday on the bus 🙂 I love my team. They rock my socks. Then we picked up a couple wins against Muskegon, though the first one was kinda ugly. The second game we did much better and won 13 to 1. Then the team sang to me again after the second game. Then we ate at Ponderosa and the team sang to me again and I got a cake and a birthday card 🙂 It made me feel really special… and stupid for crying the night before. Then when I got home and checked Facebook, I saw that my good friend that hadn’t called me the night before left me a message. And that made me super happy as well. And so, other than my leg oozing ever since I got my birthday raspberrry, yesterday was amazing! Also, I didn’t have sliding shorts, so I was wearing a girdle to help hold the bandage in place on my leg. The girls thought that was funny because they’re lacy. Here are some fun quotes from yesterday:

Z- “My grandpa is so cute”
Me-“Is he available?” … this one resulted on my team saying I said something dirty… which it wasn’t… it was an honest question.

T- “Holly, are those your birthday sliders? They’re all lacy…”

And here’s the poem

One Last Time

The time has come
As my eyes are opened
To see that your friendship is fake

And here I sit
Missing the joy we had
When yes meant yes and no meant no

If you have not
but disdain for me
Why did you open up the door

I don’t want lies
I abhor deceit
So perhaps this is one last time

One last time to say goodbye
One last time for me to cry
One last time of letting go
One last time to end the show

It’s far too hard
To feign lovedness
When I can see through all your games

If you can’t live
Evidence of God
Then this needs to be one last time

One last time to say goodbye
One last time for me to cry
One last time of letting go
One last time to end the show

April 21, 2008 at 10:31 am 1 comment

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