Posts filed under ‘prayer’

Last Night’s Prayer

Last night was tough for me… I don’t know what it was about it, but I found myself feeling lonelier than I have felt in quite some time. I suppose I was just coming off of a high from the previous two days which held a David Crowder Band concert, babysitting, baking, voting, bible study and chill time with Brandon and his brother and sister. Compared to those activities, yesterday felt so empty. I was so lost at the end of the night, and even my daily reading didn’t fill the emptiness I was feeling. My mind was allowed to wander, and though I know that God needs to be enough, my heart longed for something else. The prayer that came from my lips last night was of complete selfishness. And while God does give good gifts to his children, I regret praying it. The moments I spent praying it and the minutes that followed meditating on what I prayed could have been used much more effectively for God’s glory. If I ask for something out of wrong motives, it’s a wasted prayer… especially when there is so much that I ought to pray for that gets neglected.

November 6, 2008 at 2:20 pm 1 comment

Please Pray

Hey y’all,

I don’t think it was by coincidence that I ran into a couple old friends tonight. You see, I had been having a little bit of a rough afternoon and wasn’t feeling the best, but God showed me just how lucky I am to have Him, my family and all of my friends (that includes all of you). The first friend of mine will be starting classes pretty soon at LCC, and we never were really tight friends, but he’s had some things on his mind recently, and I feel like the Lord had me meet up with him tonight for a reason. I ended up coming out of Speedway to see him filling up his tank, and we chatted for a couple minutes, and then I left. As I was driving away, I was reminded that just minutes earlier I had thought to myself, “Perhaps God is bringing me back this way for a purpose.” I turned around and pulled back into the gas station to talk to Sean again, and we’ll be hanging out sometime tomorrow, hopefully. I would ask that you pray for him for whatever it is he has questions in his life concerning, and that God would just bless him so abundantly.

Another friend, I ran into while getting a muffin for my mom at Tim Horton’s. She’s apparently worked there for about a year, but I’ve not managed to run into her before tonight. She’s been having some financial, and family issues. If you would pray for her as well, I would much appreciate it. Her name is Brittany. I don’t know if she loves Christ, but I know that she needs Him.

I know that you’ve been praying for me too, and I just want to thank you, because it’s been such an encouragement to have friends like you. I love you all soooo much, you have no idea. Thanks again! God bless!

August 18, 2008 at 10:39 pm 4 comments

There’s a Fork

Perhaps my proverbial fork is not quite so clear as the one my niece, Bethany, is gladly showing, but I believe it is there none the less. At this point in my life, I can see it proceeding into the fall in two ways: 1) Me receiving the financial aid necessary for me to go to Cedarville, where I will play softball for another year, and sadly miss another Harvest Party or 2) Me failing to receive the funds necessary for me to go to CU in the fall, and instead, babysitting my niece, Emily, and saving my money so I can hopefully either go to Cedarville for the Spring semester or even begin anew next year (but luckily be able to go to the Harvest Party). Personally, both of these have their ups and downs, and I feel like listing them.

CU positives:

  1. Play softball
  2. Be surrounded by godly young men and women
  3. Get my Education degree
  4. Have the opportunity to become part of a larger community and serve others outside of my current community
  5. Make new friends
  6. Become better friends with others
  7. Possibly meet my husband

CU negatives:

  1. Incur a lot of debt
  2. Miss the Harvest Party
  3. Rarely see my friends from Michigan
  4. Rarely see my family
  5. Have the stress that naturally comes with going to school

Not going to CU positives:

  1. Earn and Save money
  2. Spend more time with certain family members
  3. Help out a sister in need of child care
  4. Have lots of free time
  5. Not incur large amounts of debt
  6. Be flexible
  7. Leaves the possibility of going to New Tribes open

Not going to CU negatives:

  1. Less likely that I’ll be able to play college softball again
  2. Miss out on some great experiences
  3. Feeling awkward because I told a bunch of people I am going to Cedarville
  4. Not hanging out with some new friends I’ve made via facebook who will be going to CU
  5. It may be more difficult to get scholarships the longer I wait
  6. I will let Coach Rowe and the team down, because they were counting on me playing
  7. I won’t get to meet all of those godly young men and women

So, as you can see… there is a lot to be said for both. I think of all those, the main reason I would want to go would be to not let down my coach and teammates, and the reason I would want to not go would be to stay out of debt. I went to this seminar hosted by Send International maybe 2 years ago, and they said that if you want to be a missionary, one of the best things you can do is not have debt. If I go to CU, I will have debt. The only way I won’t have debt is if God provides finances other than loans for me (which is very possible as nothing is impossible with God). If God’s will is for me to be a missionary, it stands to reason that he would not have me study Early Childhood Education at Cedarville. However, I don’t know that God is calling me to be a missionary. Wow, I just got so off topic. The point is, without debt, if God called me, it would be easier to go.

Anyways, I will be trying to gain the financial aid necessary to go to Cedarville, and if I do not receive it, then I think it’s a pretty clear sign that CU is not where God has put me for this fall. If I do receive it, it’s all God 🙂 I love my God and how great he is!

Your prayers are much appreciated!

July 23, 2008 at 12:13 am 3 comments

I Can’t Stand It!

It’s selfish! It’s sinful! It’s obsessive! It’s wrong! It’s ME!

I can’t stand me! The reason I can’t stand me mostly has to do with my obsessive tendencies. Seriously… I’m borderline stalkerish when it comes to people (particularly those that I like), and I’m borderline OCD when it comes to Solitaire. I purposely put myself in situations where I might get to see or hear about so and so, and even when I’m not in those situations I’m thinking about them. It’s really quite frustrating. I don’t want to be a stalker. I should just stop talking to boys. I should just stop looking at boys. I should just stop living in a world that has boys. That doesn’t work so well though… it would pretty much require me to die. *sigh* when it comes to solitaire, I play for hours and hours just so I can end the game with a positive score (because I play on cumulative score, and I lose a lot.)

I just want to be free of this! What’s the female form of a eunuch? Maybe I should be one of those.

————–
pre-edit

cause I know this is just me being emotional, and probably tired, I don’t think you should worry about me. God has blessed me with this understanding that I am free from all this sin. Christ died so I can be free from this disease of self. I just need to accept it, and live accordingly, which is hard to do when my focus is on me and not God. I think I like it a lot better when I’m writing incredible posts and poems when my spiritual walk is going really well, but I guess I’ll let you see me weak too. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Oh yeah… pretty much every post I write is a prayer request 🙂 Thanks

July 19, 2008 at 11:23 pm 5 comments

Once Again

Oh God, take this love from me
Because I don’t have the strength to lift it
Oh God, teach your word to me
Because I’ve failed so much already
Oh God, draw my heart after you
Because these scars won’t be erased
Oh God, break down my walls
And take your place

please pray for me

July 15, 2008 at 1:23 am 8 comments

I Ate Too Many Butterflies

This will just be a quick post since it’s past 5 a.m. and I have yet to sleep. Remind me to tell you about my amazing weekend in another post. As for right now, please pray for me. My gut feels like a bowl of Jello cubes jiggling around mercilessly – which may prevent me from sleeping. My head is spinning and my flesh is screaming so loud that I can’t hear God. Please pray. Thank you.

July 7, 2008 at 4:10 am Leave a comment

To You

You’re bigger than my problems
You’re bigger than my fears
You’re bigger than my scars
And the one who caused my tears
Lord I bring
Everything I am
To you

You’re stronger than my demons
You’re stronger than my tides
You’re stronger than my sin
And I know you’re by my side
Lord I bring
Everything I am
To you

To you
I lift up all my heart
To you
I’m giving every part
To you
Lord, take me as I am
And use me for your plan
I want to be the one who’s bringing praise
To you

You’re greater than my money
You’re greater than my dreams
You’re greater than my world
So much greater than anything
Lord I bring
Everything I am
To you

To you
I lift up all my heart
To you
I’m giving every part
To you
Lord, take me as I am
And use me for your plan
I want to be the one who’s bringing praise
To you

I know that you’re so perfect
And I’ve never once been true
But Lord, make me faithful
As I give all that I am to you (I’m giving it to you)

To you
I lift up all my heart
To you
I’m giving every part
To you
Lord, take me as I am
And use me for your plan
I want to be the one who’s bringing praise
To you

———————————————————————–

God is bigger, stronger and greater than any problem that you will face and any success that you achieve. Wholly live for him. Wholly surrender to him.

July 4, 2008 at 12:07 am 3 comments

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