Aside for me

July 12, 2008 at 7:05 pm 2 comments

As I was looking through my memory boxes and artwork attempting to find a sketch I had drawn of the wedding dress I was “going to make” I found other things. One was a sketch I had drawn of Zach my Senior year, and it made me remember just how cute he is. The other was a letter I had written to Zach while he was at college over a year ago. The letter expressed how much I wanted to marry him, just to be sure the thoughts I would think about him would not be unholy. That wasn’t the only reason I wanted to marry him of course, but I was very physically attracted to him. My reaction to these items was ” I love him so much.” And I did love him. But what The Weakerthans have caused me to realize is the love I have for him is not the love I used to have for him. Instead of thinking “I love him so much” I should have thought “I love the way I used to love him.” I’m in love with the passion I had for him. I’m in love with the way I would have done anything for him. I’m in love with love and lousy (and good) poetry! Now perhaps, my ribs don’t show through t-shirts, but I don’t think they need to for me to relate to this song.

Aside – The Weakerthans

Measure me in metered lines
And one decisive stare
The time it takes to get from here to there
My ribs that show through t-shirts
And these shoes I got for free
I’m unconsoled
I’m lonely
I am so much better than I used to be
Terrified of telephones
And shopping malls and knives
Drowning in the pools of other lives
Rely a bit too heavily
On alcohol and irony
Get clobbered on by courtesy
In love with love and lousy poetry
And I’m leaning on this broken fence
Between past and present tense
And I’m losing all those stupid games
That I swore I’d never play
But it almost feels okay
Circumnavigate this body
Of wonder and uncertainty
Armed with every precious failure
And amature cartography
I’m breathing deep before
I spread those maps out on my bedroom floor
And I’m leaning on this broken fence
Between past and present tense
And I’m losing all those stupid games
That I swore I’d never play
But it feels okay
And I’m leaving with goodbye
And I’m losing but I’ll try
With the last ways left
To remember sing
My imperfect offering

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Entry filed under: life. Tags: , , , .

Good news- not so bad news I’m so blessed; I’m so bummed

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Raquel TWG  |  July 12, 2008 at 9:56 pm

    This post is so good, Holly (:
    I’m happy this song helped you in that way.

    Reply
  • 2. anon4him  |  July 13, 2008 at 12:14 pm

    Thanks 🙂 Hopefully I’ll be able to hold on to that realization though… it is very elusive.

    Reply

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