Advice?

June 19, 2008 at 3:54 pm 2 comments

So, I need some advice on a situation I’m currently facing. I’m not quite sure what to do. Here’s the story: I used to have this friend who was my best friend, and for whatever reason we stopped being friends. Now, I thought that a brother and sister in Christ should be able to get along and be friends regardless of whatever happened between them. Such a friendship, I felt would be a testimony to God. We decided to be friends, but after a little while in the friendship it was clear to me that I was the only one making an effort to be friends. In fact, I think I was being treated worse than any random sister in Christ would be by my “friend.” I discussed with him what I had been feeling and it came out that he didn’t think it was possible for him to be my friend and that he actually didn’t even WANT to be my friend. I was hurt. I was hurt so bad. Because I was hurt, I got angry, and I actually started to hate this person. I know hate is a strong word, but that is truly what I felt. He sent me an apology via facebook and said that we could try to be friends and he would try not to be dumb about it, but by the time that was sent I was so angry at him that if I sent anything back it would have just been me trying to be mean to him. That was about a month ago. Since then I’ve cooled off a lot. I actually haven’t hated him for quite some time. It’s not easy for me to stay angry with someone, especially when they don’t deserve it. Right now, I’m at the point where I want to apologize for being irrationally angry and for causing disunity within the body of Christ. I don’t know how he’d take it though. In fact, if I had to guess, I’d probably say that he’d be just as happy never hearing from me again. This makes me sad because he’s such a great person and I really wish I were friends with him… but there’s not much I can do about it.

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Prayer :-) Good Advice

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Lofter  |  June 19, 2008 at 9:19 pm

    If you’ve done wrong, then you need to make it right. If that is as simply as an apology, then be grateful and offer it. It’s not up to you whether or not it is accepted… but it is up to you to see it offered.
    Throughout my life there have been many (so many) things I’ve had to apologize for. And, in some cases, it’s taken me literally decades to offer that apology. But, you know what… I’ve never approached someone whom I had wronged, offering a sincere apology for my wrongdoings, and received anything other than forgiveness.
    God truly works wonders through our humility – not only in admitting we were wrong to ourselves and to Him, but in facing the object of our wrath and humbling ourselves to correct our mistakes. Pray on it, my sister… you’ll know what to do!
    I think you already do… 🙂

    Reply
  • 2. Jessi Collins  |  June 20, 2008 at 7:16 pm

    Apologize, but leave it open…in a way that leaves replying up to him. No “btw, how are you doing” sort of things.

    Reply

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