Stoked, but Scared

December 28, 2007 at 8:46 pm Leave a comment

So, I’ve spent the last 4 months in Wisconsin, just one large lake over from my home in Michigan. I went to Wisconsin for a few reasons: to help my sister with her 3 children all under 4 years old (one of them a newborn), to help my brother-in-law with remodeling their house, and because my life seemed to be moving in a downward spiral since summer break started and I wanted to figure out what I should do with my life. Here I am, December 28, 2007, having helped my sister and brother-in-law, but seemingly not having helped myself. I still have no idea what I want to do other than what my desire has been for several years and it seems like fewer and fewer of my close friends have time for me anymore. But something is shining beneath the broken pieces of pottery– an opportunity.

You see, last year I played softball at a community college in Michigan, I didn’t play much, but I was still on scholarship. However, due to the college’s finances, there were going to be fewer scholarships offered this year. I was one of the girls who would not remain on scholarship. Without that scholarship and without another $1000 scholarship I wasn’t receiving due to a fluke on the foundation’s part, it would be difficult for me to pay for classes without getting a loan. Not wanting to dive into debt, I chose to take the semester off. Now, fall semester is over, and spring semester starts in less that 2 weeks. I was planning on taking classes using scholarship money I would receive from another organization, so I got myself scheduled to take some elementary education courses. So, here I am in Michigan, all ready to get back into the whole “college craze” and I get an e-mail from my softball coach. He’s telling me one of the players will be ineligible in the spring, and if I want it the scholarship is mine. I probably won’t get much playing time, but my school will be paid for. Now, there’s a lot of pros and cons with this opportunity. If I play, I’ll get school paid for, I’ll get to use the fitness center for free, I can use my other scholarship money for books and stuff, I’ll get to play a sport I love, and not the least of the pros- I’ll get to go to Florida for Spring Training. However, if I’m playing softball I won’t have a flexible schedule. This means I won’t necessarily be able to take all the classes I want, with so much time consumed by softball it’ll be hard to get a job and keep up on my school work too, I won’t be able to fix up my parents house as I would like to, and the movie nights will probably have to wait until the summer. As you can see, there are many reasons to either keep my plans or to change them based on this offer.

I’m taking the scholarship. It wasn’t an easy decision to make. I feel that it may be more beneficial to my future to ignore softball and just go for a degree, but I feel that it’s going to be way more fun playing softball than not playing. No offense to anyone who opts for jumping right into being an adult and having responsibility, but right now, I’m gonna go for fun. All in all, I’ll still be working towards a degree, and I’ll be staying in shape, and I’ll not be taking part in the immorality of the other girls on my team. They say that bad company corrupts good character, but perhaps rather than that, I can be a light that shines the love and glory of Christ.

Did I mention I get to go to Florida when it’s still cold in Michigan? Maybe this time I’ll where some stronger sunscreen… lobster red and blisters don’t suit me very well ;-). And maybe we’ll even be close enough to Miami that I can get a visitor 😛

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To be or not to be… honest Whatever

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