Faulty Praying

October 29, 2007 at 12:52 am 4 comments

Has anyone out there ever prayed that your husband or wife would know instantly the moment he or she saw you that they would want to spend the rest of their natural life as your spouse. That there would be no doubt from day one. That they would see you and fall in love with you; not because they thought you were extremely attractive, not because you said yummy or because you smell good, and not because their horoscope said they would meet the woman or man of their dreams, but because God said to them, “There she/he is. She/he’s yours.” Have you ever prayed that? Well, I have. I prayed that my future husband would see me and just know that I am the one. But you know what, I was thinking about this prayer today, and I’m not sure it’s one I want to be praying.

For instance, for any guys out there, if God told you, “she is the one.” What would you do? If you had no doubt that there was no woman in the world who would make you happier to be with than the one sitting 5 seats ahead of you and 2 to the left, how would you approach her? “Will you marry me?” might not get the desired response. And what if you’re the woman who’s just been asked this by a total stranger? Unless you’ve been praying the prayer I mentioned earlier, and probably even in you ARE praying that prayer, your response will be something to the effect of awkward silence and NO.

You know what got me thinking about this? I was sitting in church today and a man came and sat just diagonally in front of me. He’s kinda pale, really skinny, has thick glasses and a bowlish haircut. He doesn’t look mean but he’s really quiet. His name is Brian… I only know because he was wearing one of those sticker name tags. He’s probably a decent number of years older than me, and not really my “type” as some would say. But what if God told him that I could be his? What if God revealed to Brian that I was the person he would want to spend the rest of his life with? What if Brian came to me any day this week and asked me to marry him? What if I said no? I would have asked God and I would have received. Perhaps it wouldn’t be what I expected, but God would have delivered exactly what I asked him to. I would be so consumed by appearances and stereotypes that I would probably just deny him, and for someone as shy as he appears, I probably wouldn’t end up in a conversation with him again. Therefore, by God answering my prayer, I could in effect, ruin the chance for an amazing, fulfilling relationship with the one who was to be my future spouse. That would really just suck!

So, for anyone who’s prayed that prayer before, I would encourage you to not, unless you are prepared to deal with the effects of it being answered. And if you would be so kind as to offer a love-sick girl biblical advice on any matter dealing with dating/courting/marriage/whatever, I would be very thankful to accept it.



Also, I’m sorry for the grammatical errors. It is fairly late and I didn’t want to use he/she, his/hers or him/her a lot.

Entry filed under: prayer, Uncategorized.

Fasting My High Priest

4 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Jennifer  |  October 31, 2007 at 12:35 pm

    Hey hon, trust me, unless God wants you to be with someone that has no social skills, the guy will not come up and ask you to marry him.
    I met my current fiance at a church barbecue, thought he was cute, and decided to go talk to him. I hadn’t made it over, when I literally felt a spiritual ‘push’ inside my head (I can be shy too)
    About halfway through our conversation, I get this thought – “I could so marry this guy” which was quickly followed by “Whaaa???” I wasn’t even looking for marriage, but God knew exactly what he was doing. Turns out Nathan had similar thoughts soon after.
    So my advice would be to wait, and stop looking. Make yourself available, but wait for God to bring someone to you. If you have an open heart to God’s guidance, you’ll find someone that fits you in every way possible.

  • 2. anon4him  |  October 31, 2007 at 1:35 pm

    Thanks for the advice, Jennifer. I’m not really looking for someone. The prayer that I prayed was not meant to be answered immediately. It’s more of a prayer for when I’m ready for that sort of relationship. I don’t even know if I want to make myself “available” right now, but I guess if I shut my heart off to everyone, that would leave no room for my prince charming. Thanks again.

  • 3. Forever His Clay  |  November 2, 2007 at 6:45 pm

    I prayed for my fufture husband for years. Well, I technically still am, since I am unmarried. The biggest piece of advice I can give is to delight in the Lord. Don’t focus on guys, or the lack there of. It wasn’t until I totally surrendered to the Lord and said “ok, it is just you and me, I don’t need a man” that He sent a godly man to me! We have been “courting” for almost 3 years now and are hoping to be engaged soon. A good read is “When God Writes Your Love Story” by Eric and Leslie Ludy.

    It is a beautiful thing to pray for the one you are to marry. I prayed for him, and he wasn’t walking witht he Lord at that time. I had never met him, but prayed for him, and the Lord has done an awesome work. I will pray for you, your future husband, and the awesome story God wants to give to you . Our story is a lot longer than that, so let me know if you’d like to hear more. May God bless your desire to glorify Him in this area of your life.

    Remember, man cannot complete you, only God can.

    Your Sister In Christ,

  • 4. anon4him  |  November 2, 2007 at 11:57 pm

    Yeah… I hear what you’re saying, but it’s obviously easier said than done. I’ve given all these cares to the Lord, and end up snatching them back out of His hands — stupid humanity! It seems like I’ve given everything to him a million times, but it just end up back on my plate, and then I have to give it again for the million and first time. I guess the reason it’s so hard for me is because I had that wonderful, godly, Christian man, and somehow he got away from me. Maybe I lost him because I don’t deserve him, but I don’t think I could desire anyone less than him. Maybe I just need to shape up. Whatever the case may be, I know I can serve the Lord in whatever way he desires, but first I’ll have to get rid of my own desire. For a long time I’ve just really wanted to be a wife and mother. Nothing else in this world sounds appealing to me outside of that, but that’s a pretty hard to achieve when you don’t have a husband or even a romantic interest(with the exception of the one I lost). I wish that God would give me some strong desire for another way that I could serve him, but so far, all I’ve got is baking :-P.

    My post was simply about my realization that I was praying for the wrong thing. I have frequently prayed for the man that God will put in my life, if that is His will for my life, but I’d been adding the clause of him knowing I’m the one from the first time he sees me. I’m thinking that that clause might not be the best idea. I will by no means stop praying for that special person, I will just refine the prayer ^_^.

    As for the book, I’m a little bit skeptical when the story comes from places like that. I have not met either people involved and thus don’t have a trust basis to believe what they’re saying. I definitely have seen God’s work in relationships of those in my family though. My sister told a young man in college to his face, that she would not marry him if he was the last man on earth, and she meant every word of it when she said it. Now they’ve been married 6(I think) years and have 3 children. So, I’ve seen how the power of God can work through relationships. For me, I think it’s just a matter of finding some way to serve God and make a living outside of the confines of a family. That, and I should probably learn to stop loving the man I hope is the one, and accept that God is sufficient for me. I actually wrote a song that is very inspiring for living life that way. I’ll have to check whether or not I posted it.

    Thanks for your words ^_^



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