Archive for September, 2007

Pride is MY issue

I am a very proud individual. I never realized this until reading chapter 8 of Mere Christianity. I took it as jealousy, but down deep, it really is pride. I compare myself to other women in the areas of looks, intelligence, friends, etc. And usually I see myself at the short end of the stick. I feel that some else is better than me because she’s beautiful, everyone likes her, and/or the man in her life would do anything for her. Usually it’s my prerogative to be disappointed in myself because I’m less than them or wonder what it is that makes them so much better than me. The reason I notice these things and react the way I do is because of pride. I do think I’m kinda pretty, but not as pretty as some. I do think I have great friends, but some girls have more. It seems like everything goes right for some girls and I think it should go that way for me because, get this, I THINK I DESERVE IT! I couldn’t be further from the truth! I deserve Hell because I’m a sinner, but by the grace of God, I get heaven! In the words of the Newsboys, “When we don’t get what we deserve, it’s a real good thing… when we get what we don’t deserve, it’s a real good thing…”

I feel like I have many great attributes, but the sooner I realize that no good characteristic comes from me, that is that it is God’s, the sooner I’ll be able to humble myself to the point where I’m no longer jealous, I’m no longer envious, and I’m no longer prideful, because “I” am no longer. There only is God.


September 26, 2007 at 10:44 pm 1 comment

Not the usual poem

I am doing sooo well today! Praise God! Maybe it’s something in the autumn air, maybe it’s something to do with finally being with people close to my own age, but whatever it is, I’m very refreshed and ready to fight the good fight! The keys to my upcoming success will be advisers, faith, and hard work. I will succeed. I will give up everything I think I know, and rely on God’s truth. I won’t fail again. Praise God, it feels so good to be alive… and soon it will feel so good to be asleep! haha 😉 *hugs and love to all*

May God bless and keep you now and always!


September 25, 2007 at 11:35 pm Leave a comment

Searching for the truth

Searching for comfort
I found it at last
A deep pit of love
I fell in it fast
His dark brown hair
His gorgeous blue eyes
And his warm soft embrace
Gave me butterflies
I searched for comfort
And I thought it would last
But relying on soft soap
It slipped into the past
I thought it would free me
Remove all my fear
But searching for comfort
In the end, brought me despair
Down at the bottom
I let myself go
I gave me away
So my character could grow
I began searching for truth
And that’s where I’ve been
Figuring out who
Why, where and when
No more wishful thinking
I know I’ve a purpose
I must keep seeking God
And maybe one day it will surface


These are my own little wanderings based on a C.S. Lewis quote.


September 21, 2007 at 9:46 pm Leave a comment

Eros = romantic love

A Step Away from Eros

That they loved could not be denied
But a character of his love he chose to hide
Was that his love was a step away from eros

She gave love freely and he seemed to accept
But he could not return for his heart was inept
Because his love was a step away from eros

He could take the denial no more
So as he left, before closing the door
He told her his love was a step away from eros

She pleaded with him that it just wasn’t true
His actions, his words she desperately knew
Were signs that his love had been eros

But he held fast to his choice, his face set in stone
Denying her advances and leaving alone
The woman whose love had been eros

She cried in her bed, suicidal thoughts in her head
Wishing that all her emotions were dead
To knowing his love was a step away from eros

For months at a time her mixed feelings collided
Until she gave everything to the God she confided
Whose love was agape

He looked deep inside and cleaned up her heart
Gave her hope for a brand new start
Beginning by letting her step away from eros


This was a poem my brain made me write so that it would allow me to go to sleep. I know it’s not great… not even good, but it is written none the less. Really the last 2 stanzas are the only thing worth reading.


September 20, 2007 at 11:44 am Leave a comment

Nothing But the Blood

What can wash away my sin?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus;
What can make me whole again?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.


Oh! precious is the flow
That makes me white as snow;
No other fount I know,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

For my pardon, this I see,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus;
For my cleansing this my plea,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.


Nothing can for sin atone,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus;
Naught of good that I have done,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.


This is all my hope and peace,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus;
This is all my righteousness,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.


Now by this I’ll overcome—
Nothing but the blood of Jesus,
Now by this I’ll reach my home—
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.


Glory! Glory! This I sing—
Nothing but the blood of Jesus,
All my praise for this I bring—
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.



This is, of course, not my own, but I find it very comforting right now. I’ll try not to make a habit out of posting others’ work, but for now, it’s a good reminder of all that’s been done for me.


September 17, 2007 at 11:07 pm Leave a comment

I Melt Away

I formed an igloo
To keep you warm
But you go outside
And I melt away

I swum in your well
To chill your water
But you switch to coffee
And I melt away

I was a sculpture
Of beauty and hope
But now I soak in the ground
Because I melt away

I wish I was more
But left in the sun
I melt away
And my water runs

Perhaps there’s a place
Where I’ll be reformed
Where the world is cold
So I won’t melt away


Not my best work, I know… just sort of a spur of the moment poem.

September 13, 2007 at 8:27 pm Leave a comment

What I see

Staring at a photograph
Focusing on her face
As she stares back at me
Every hair in place

Some people see a model
Others see a goth
Some people says she’s pretty
Others say she’s Hot

What I see are sultry lips
What I see are adulterous eyes
What I see are all the thoughts
She tries so desperately to hide

What I see is nothing to gawk at
What I see is nothing to like
What I see is just another lost soul
In need of Jesus Christ

September 8, 2007 at 11:39 pm Leave a comment

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