Anon4him

Still Haven’t Found What I’m “Looking For”

anon4him — Sat, 21 Aug 2010 02:40:59 +0000

“And she’s looking for a husband” – Caedmon

“I’m not really looking per se” – Me

“Yes you are!” – Caedmon

There were probably other things said in the midst of it, but I couldn’t hear it over the intense, loud shade of red that my face was turning. Some six year old children do not know proper dinner conversation etiquette. Although the outburst was incredibly hilarious, and only partially true, it was quite thought-provoking. It was partially true because, yeah, I do want to get married. I don’t hide the fact that my desire in life is to be a wife and mother. However, “looking for” implies actively searching, which I’m not… I think. In fact, I’ve been quite good about not initiating conversations with guys lately. In conversations where my nephew is involved, the idea of me getting married is brought up more by him than by me. He pretty much thinks that I should get married because I’m old and I should marry someone in New York that way he can come visit and play. lol. Those are solid reasons to get married, right? Well, it doesn’t matter the reasons why he says the things he says. The fact is, that I probably concern myself with the desire for a husband more than I should. Proverbs 4:25 says “Let thine eyes look right on, and let thine eyelids look straight before thee” (it’s a King James sort of day). If my eyes are fixed on Jesus, then it would be much more difficult for someone to confuse where I am looking or what I am looking for… even a 6 year old, I think, would see clearly where my gaze was set. Lord, let my eyes be set on You, and You alone.

Bring Me Back

anon4him — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 19:20:08 +0000

Sometimes life gets confusing and difficult, but the Lord is always faithful to bring me back to Christ. With little reminders he ushers me into his arms and gives me overwhelming peace and security. Nothing short of truth could bring me back from the irrational thoughts I’ve been having as of late, and that truth that was presented to me was that of Colassians 3. Perhaps today this truth will set you free from whatever demons have been pursuing you:

“¹Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. ²Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. ³For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. ⁴When Christ, who is your^[a] life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

⁵Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. ⁶Because of these, the wrath of God is coming.^[b] ⁷You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. ⁸But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. ⁹Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices ¹⁰and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. ¹¹Here there is no Greek or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.

¹²Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. ¹³Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. ¹⁴And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

¹⁵Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. ¹⁶Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. ¹⁷And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”

God bless!

New Blog

anon4him — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 02:52:17 +0000

I needed a new start to this blogging thing. I let this one get a little bit out of control as far as what I put on here. Rather than bring it back to what it should be, I just started a new blog a couple doors down. My new blog is at http://newsurrender.wordpress.com. Hope to see ya around! God bless!

Perfect Love by The O.C. Supertones

anon4him — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 22:55:02 +0000

Do you need someone?
Are you like me?
Do you fall apart?
You’re just like me.

Have there been times?
You felt so low?
Don’t you forget
You’re not alone

Angels are standing by your bed
Jesus is watching over you
He’ll never leave that’s what he said
Is that what you want ’cause I know I do

(chorus)
I want love love love
I want perfect love. (X3)

Well I pretend
I just need me
I seem so strong
But it’s make believe

’cause I’ve seen love fail
I’ve been betrayed
I’ve seen love pass
I’ve seen love fade

But I know that God is not that way
He doesn’t change from day to day
He doesn’t fail he doesn’t leave
And I want that so desperately

(chorus)

He loves broken hearts
Faith like a child
And now here I come
With just a broken heart
And faith like a child

I want love love love
I want perfect love.
I want love love love
I want perfect love.
Will someone tell me where to find
Some place to ease my troubled mind (X2)

I want love love love
I want perfect love.

This is the Way by Last Tuesday

anon4him — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 07:17:29 +0000

This is the way I (no)
This is the way we work it out
It’s not about you
It’s not about me
This is the new beginning
This is the day we,
This is the start of what we said,
We thought was wrong was with,
The way we do things,
Let’s meet…
every chance we get

Take take take take one final look
Make make make make this one to
remember
Take our time we will get there
This house is not our home.

Can we talk about it
Can we see what everybody thinks
I know that,
You know that,
We won’t
always agree
On how to start from
Where we left off with our Resolve
But we must move
Move on now
this is our new beginning

This is the way we wanted it to be…
(With every day)
This is the way we wanted it to be…
(With every breath)
This is the way we wanted it to be..

—————————

I love what O.C. Supertones Radio at Pandora.com introduces me to

Last Night’s Prayer

anon4him — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 19:20:20 +0000

Last night was tough for me… I don’t know what it was about it, but I found myself feeling lonelier than I have felt in quite some time. I suppose I was just coming off of a high from the previous two days which held a David Crowder Band concert, babysitting, baking, voting, bible study and chill time with Brandon and his brother and sister. Compared to those activities, yesterday felt so empty. I was so lost at the end of the night, and even my daily reading didn’t fill the emptiness I was feeling. My mind was allowed to wander, and though I know that God needs to be enough, my heart longed for something else. The prayer that came from my lips last night was of complete selfishness. And while God does give good gifts to his children, I regret praying it. The moments I spent praying it and the minutes that followed meditating on what I prayed could have been used much more effectively for God’s glory. If I ask for something out of wrong motives, it’s a wasted prayer… especially when there is so much that I ought to pray for that gets neglected.

Your Love is Strong

anon4him — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 06:38:28 +0000

Heavenly Father, you always amaze me
Let your kingdom come in my world and in my life
Give me the food I need to live through today
And forgive me as I forgive the people that wrong me
Lead me far from temptation
Deliver me from the evil one

I look out the window the birds are composing
Not a note is out of tune or out of place
I walk to the meadow and stare at the flowers
Better dressed than any girl on her wedding day

So why do I worry?
Why do I freak out?
God knows what I need
You know what I need

Your love is
Your love is
Your love is strong
Your love is
Your love is
Your love is strong
Your love is
Your love is
Your love is strong

The kingdom of the heavens is now advancing
Invade my heart, invade this broken town
The kingdom of the Heavens is buried treasure
Would you sell yourself to buy the one you’ve found?

Two things you told me
That you are strong
And you love me
Yes, you love me

Your love is
Your love is
Your love is strong
Your love is
Your love is
Your love is strong
Your love is
Your love is
Your love is strong
Your love is
Your love is
Your love is strong

Our God in Heaven
Hallowed be thy name
Above all names
Your kingdom come
Your will be done
On earth as it is in heaven
Give us today our daily bread
Forgive us weary sinners
Keep us far away from our vices
And deliver us from these prisons

——————–

In view of God’s great love for us, should we not also show him love? And how then shall we love? By words alone or by extravagant gifts? Certainly not! In John 14:21, Jesus says, “Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him.” Let us not be dead in action; instead let us love God by obeying his commands. Have you been obedient today?

I wasn’t going to, but I am

anon4him — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 06:20:59 +0000

here is a song I just wrote:

How Shall I Stand? (Inspired by Luke 21:36)

Glory, Glory, Lord you are grand
Finally coming to heal our land
I am unworthy, wretched and wrong
How then shall I stand?
Lord, please make me stand!

The Son of Man
Is coming in glory
How shall I stand; how shall I stand
Radiant beauty
Perfect is He
How shall I stand
How shall I stand

Out of the darkness I see your light shine
Here comes your kingdom in power divine
Honor and reverence your presence demands
How then shall I stand?
Lord, please make me stand!

The Son of Man
Is coming in glory
How shall I stand; how shall I stand
Radiant beauty
Perfect is He
How shall I stand
How shall I stand

Though I am broken, I cry out to you
Cleanse my heart – unfaithful, untrue
Your perfect blood my only relief
It’s hard to believe I stand
Lord, you make me stand!

The Son of Man
Is coming in glory
How shall I stand; how shall I stand
Radiant beauty
Perfect is He
How shall I stand
By His blood I stand!

Glory! Glory! Lord you are good!
I lift up my hands and cry as I should
This gift you have given, I can’t understand
Why you’d make me stand…
Glory! Glory! Lord you are good!
I lift up my hands and cry as I should
This gift you have given, I can’t understand
Why you’d make me stand
Lord, you make me stand
Your blood makes me stand
Lord, you make me stand

————————–——–

Luke 21:36:
“Be always on the watch, and pray that you may be able to escape all that is about to happen, and that you may be able to stand before the Son of Man.”

Positive Post Wednesday

anon4him — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 22:01:13 +0000

None of you know my grandfather, I don’t even know him very well. I never got to see him very much. Most of my life was spent living in a different state than him, and the years we lived in the same state were my younger years. When we all lived in New York, my family would go camping on the St. Lawrence River in the summer, and those were the only times we really got to see grandpa. Since we moved from there, I’ve seen him at 2 family reunions and visited him in Florida one summer. He is a sweet man. He is a generous man. He is a loving man. When I was a young child, I was always more interested in playing than chatting with the grown ups, but even then he would show us where the toys were, the video games… make sure we were fed and having fun. Every year on our birthdays he would mail his grandchildren a card with a $20 check in it. At one family reunion he took on the task of handing out squirt guns to his grandchildren and great grandchildren, much to their parents dismay. At the other one I heard a story about how he chastised my cousin for a choice she had made, his tears evidence of his love for her and his disappointment in where she went wrong. My grandpa is a very strong man and also very stubborn. A few weeks ago he had some pain in his chest and left arm as he was putting his bike away. He wrote it off as a result of lifting the bike. A few days ago, he consented to go to the hospital. He was diagnosed as having congestive heart failure. The doctors say he has 2-3 days to live at most in the hospital he’s in or he can be transferred to a facility where he might have a couple weeks. I wish I had spent more time with him and got to know him better. The good news is, he is a follower of Christ. Whether he dies tonight or in 20 years I will get to know him better, because we have the same father, and for that, I am truly thankful.

—-edit—-

Know You More

When having fun was all that mattered
And I had family all around
I forfeited my chance to know you more

When selfishness consumed me
And you “wouldn’t understand”
I forfeited my chance to know you more

And now the time has come
For the Lord to call you home
And I don’t know that I’m ready to let go

The cold keeps getting colder
And the silence gets more silent
My heart, it’s slowly breaking
And my tears, they get more violent

Now your life is all that matters
And it quickly slips away
And I forfeited my chance to know you more

The cold keeps getting colder
And the silence gets more silent
My heart, it’s slowly breaking
And my tears, they get more violent

And when this is all over
And we meet beyond heavens doors
Maybe then I’ll take forever to know you more

More Permanent

anon4him — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 19:48:47 +0000

I’m thinking about making my hiatus more permanent and less encompassing. I think I won’t be posting here anymore, but allow myself to get online occassionally. This last week, I feel like I’ve been much happier than I normally am. So I love you all and hope God blesses you so abundantly! You can e-mail me anytime you want –> Anon4him@gmail.com

I may drop by time to time to check your blogs, but probably not so frequently. *hugs love and prayer*

also, I love the song Every Little Thing by Hawk Nelson