Life and a poem

So, my birthday was on Saturday, and actually it was hugely disappointing from noon until 7. Before hand I was doing well as my mommy bought me chocolate and a tiara (cause I’m her princess). Then I went to softball, and as life would have it, my birthday was forgotten about by my coaches and we lost 2 of 3 games. Not gonna lie, I cried. I don’t know why we put so much emphasis on birthdays, and I know that it shouldn’t have mattered to me, but it did. It was upsetting. Anyway, after that I was at a baby shower for my sister for a couple hours which wasn’t too bad, albeit fairly boring. I did get to hold a few beautiful children though, and that’s always fun. Afterwards my family and my friend Lauren all traveled up to St. Johns to eat some delicious food. And it was delicious and fun. And Lisa gave me a birthday plate ^_^ I love my friends! They rock my socks! Then I hung out with Lauren till midnight when she went home… and I quite possibly cried some more because the person I consider my closest friend didn’t call or message me to tell my happy birthday. Oh, also, I slid during one of the games and tore my leg open, so it was oozing all night… and is still oozing now.

Yesterday was much better- by far! In fact, yesterday was so good I’m thinking about celebrating my birthday on April 20th from now on. We had a couple more games yesterday, and since my softball team felt bad about my coach forgetting my birthday the day before they got me some bubbles, a really soft blanket, and they all signed a softball for me and sang happy birthday on the bus I love my team. They rock my socks. Then we picked up a couple wins against Muskegon, though the first one was kinda ugly. The second game we did much better and won 13 to 1. Then the team sang to me again after the second game. Then we ate at Ponderosa and the team sang to me again and I got a cake and a birthday card It made me feel really special… and stupid for crying the night before. Then when I got home and checked Facebook, I saw that my good friend that hadn’t called me the night before left me a message. And that made me super happy as well. And so, other than my leg oozing ever since I got my birthday raspberrry, yesterday was amazing! Also, I didn’t have sliding shorts, so I was wearing a girdle to help hold the bandage in place on my leg. The girls thought that was funny because they’re lacy. Here are some fun quotes from yesterday:

Z- “My grandpa is so cute”
Me-”Is he available?” … this one resulted on my team saying I said something dirty… which it wasn’t… it was an honest question.

T- “Holly, are those your birthday sliders? They’re all lacy…”

And here’s the poem

One Last Time

The time has come
As my eyes are opened
To see that your friendship is fake

And here I sit
Missing the joy we had
When yes meant yes and no meant no

If you have not
but disdain for me
Why did you open up the door

I don’t want lies
I abhor deceit
So perhaps this is one last time

One last time to say goodbye
One last time for me to cry
One last time of letting go
One last time to end the show

It’s far too hard
To feign lovedness
When I can see through all your games

If you can’t live
Evidence of God
Then this needs to be one last time

One last time to say goodbye
One last time for me to cry
One last time of letting go
One last time to end the show

Fantabulous Friday

So, today is Friday! Hurray for the weekend! My sister and her family are coming to visit this weekend from Wisconsin, so I get to see 2 very cute little boys and one absolutely adorable little girl… and then their parents whom I love! I’m gonna give soooo many hugs this weekend! They’re coming because they decided they were going to visit in April and they chose this weekend because tomorrow is my birthday. As of tomorrow night, I will no longer be a teenager, but I’ll still be a child ^_^ (I never plan on changing that). Tonight will be my hanging out time though, as we have 2 softball games and have to finish up one we began on Wednesday. I’m hoping we come away with 3 wins. I also have a couple games on Sunday too, so my family that is visiting will be leaving for home before I return from them.

lalala… I can’t put a coherent thought together right now. It’s probably because it’s sort of early and I’m not good at multi-tasking. Anyway, I think I’ll turn my music off and try to write a little something for y’all.

You are beautiful, beautiful
More beautiful than I have ever seen
Wonderful, wonderful
More than this life that you give to me
I am yours, I am yours
Every day I’ll learn to seek your face
You are Lord, you are Lord
Nothing else will ever take your place

And I’ll sing to you
Because you’ve given me this voice
And I’ll lift you up
Your love gives me no other choice
Win or lose, Lord
I’m always in your hands
To me it’s all the same
And I’ll give glory to your name
With every breath I breathe
Your joy will never leave
And you are beautiful
And I love you

I’m not sure how the rest of that song goes, but I can assure you that it’s pretty rocking awesome. I so need to learn to play an instrument so that I can write music to some of this stuff.

On My Knees

Give me the strength to stay on my knees
No sooner do I stand than I fall on my sword
I don’t mean to commit suicide
And somehow I don’t think “I tried”
Will cut it when I’m face to face with a king

My nights end with no conversation
Prayers go unanswered that haven’t been asked
Hands were not made to kill my brother
And lips to murder another
When all you asked for was my devotion

I’m only well when I’m on my knees
I’m only well when your name’s on my lips
And if complacency tempts me to stand
Put weight on my shoulders to keep me well
Praying in your glory
Praying in your glory

Words

“I know that sometimes you don’t quite say what you mean,
But then you can’t disguise the tears when the truth pours from your heart”

Do you know anyone like that? You do!? Well, I Double Dog Dare you (you know it’s serious when there’s alliteration) to incorporate those words or general idea into a poem about said person! I myself am planning on using it for a Positive Post Tuesday. ^_^ Let me know how it works out for you!

Happy Today!

^_^ unlike my happy todays of the past, today’s happy today is not because it has been some increment of months, but is because I’m super stoked about seeing one of my bestest friends of the whole wide world! He’s coming home from college, and I get dibs! haha! ^_^ But yeah, I’ve got lots of important stuff to talk to him about so, if you read this I would appreciate it if you would pray for us. Pray that God would give him words and wisdom to speak to me and that I would receive it well. Also, if you would pray that we would just enjoy the time we get to spend together, I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you!

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Also, I love the way Rhett and Link interact and react

I Respect You

I respect you for who you are
Not for how you do
I respect that you have opinions
Lord knows I have them too
I’m sorry that I have argued
When there was no right or wrong
I was blind to how you received it
I should have seen it all along
When you’d get angry I didn’t know
That you felt disrespected
Or when I ran off with other friends
That you would feel neglected
I’m sorry I messed us up
To the point we’re not together
I just wish I could make amends
And show you respect forever

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I just began reading the book “For Women Only” and just from reading the first few pages, I have a completely new view of men’s anger. I never knew that when I would argue my opinion so adamantly that it would make someone feel disrespected. I wonder if I had known this sooner if I could have saved a relationship. It’s ok though, God’s got all of me and I need all of Him, so I’ll just seek Him and if I find myself in a relationship again I’ll know how to better respect my partner.

What Was Right About Last Night

What was right about last night?
The stars, the moon, the evening light?
Was it the chance that brought us to sight
Of a fallen world that seemed alright?

The moon shone bright with a million stars
And God brought near what seemed so far
And revealed to me what good friends are
As we watched the sky within your car

The radio played a familiar song
As you and I just sang along
We knew right then where we belong
Never having felt His love so strong

What was right about last night
Wasn’t the moon and stars so bright
It’s not the way you held me tight
Nor your eyes reflecting the light

But if you were gone and I alone
I wouldn’t miss your cologne
Because in that moment, I was shown
I’ll always be built on the cornerstone

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Hurray for inspiration! The inspiration for this poem was a absolutely gorgeous night with a clear sky and about a million stars. When I see a beautiful sky like that I just have to tell my friends, so I called my friend Michael, and it turned out that he was already outside watchinig them. So, the truth of this poem ends at line 7! haha! Oh well. I decided to turn it into a slightly romantic poem, but really it’s about how even if I was alone, I would still have God. And what’s better than that?

The Broken Lives

Deception guides true feelings arye
Where darkness clouds the broken lives
And pain and hurt are amplified
In open wounds and tearful cries
So very empty, so very lost
Those who sin at highest cost
If only they knew the joy you give
To see your love and truly live
THis world could be so beautiful
If they’d open up thier souls
Broken lives can be renewed
Once thier actions have been reviewed
And they live for the only One
Jesus Christ, God’s true Son.

What is God good for…

…if not for making you meet totally awesome, random, amazing softball players who encourage you to go to Cedarville? So, this is pretty rockin awesome, and if this isn’t a sign, I don’t know what is. I was reading my bible in the hall of our hotel and a girl from another softball comes up and introduces herself because she saw me reading. As it would turn out, we were reading the same Chapter of the same Book of the bible! Isaiah 6! (which, by the way, is a pretty sweet band. If you ever get the chance to check them out I highly recommend it - though you’re not likely to find their music in stores anywhere) So anyway, it turns out she plays for Cedarville University in Ohio and they need catchers. I’m a catcher, though not as good as the other 2 on my team, but I’m confident in my abilities. I’m thinking it would be pretty sweet to go to a Christian college and ALSO get to play softball there. The only real issue I’d have with going would be fear of debt. Debt is not a good thing in my opinion, but if it’s God’s will for me to go there, God will provide. God’s pretty sweet… I like the ways he has me meet people!

 Also, I will not be on much for the next 2 weeks as I am in Florida with my softball team for Spring training and I don’t own a laptop… I’ll only be able to get on when on of my teammates let me borrow thier’s. However, I love all my blog friends very dearly, and I hope that you’ll allow me to continue visiting your sites when I return from my Sabatical.

 Also, Also:

Turbulance

Flying high
Gliding with ease
A million miles an hour
And nothing can shake me
As I soar through the sky
But wait
There’s a bump
A rumble and rock
But at 30,000 feet
A man couldn’t knock
This turbulance shakes me
Around and about
Where’s the security
Replaced by this doubt
I’m not shaking outside
I’m shaking within
You’re calling me away
From this life of sin
Your turbulance shakes me
From the sky that I hide in
I’m falling down into
The God I confide in

~Anon

Letting Go

I’m letting go
I’m giving in
No more waiting
No more sin
My heart is open
Remove my doubt
Give me desire to know
What you’re about

I’m letting go
You have my life
My joy, my love
My pain, my strife
You have my thoughts
And all I bring
Take my silence
Let my life sing

I’m letting go
Of all I desire
All that’s left
Is consuming fire
I’m letting go
Lord, take my heart
Give this sinner
A brand new start

~Anon

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And because I like music and youtube, here’s a video for ya.