Pride is MY issue

I am a very proud individual. I never realized this until reading chapter 8 of Mere Christianity. I took it as jealousy, but down deep, it really is pride. I compare myself to other women in the areas of looks, intelligence, friends, etc. And usually I see myself at the short end of the stick. I feel that some else is better than me because she’s beautiful, everyone likes her, and/or the man in her life would do anything for her. Usually it’s my prerogative to be disappointed in myself because I’m less than them or wonder what it is that makes them so much better than me. The reason I notice these things and react the way I do is because of pride. I do think I’m kinda pretty, but not as pretty as some. I do think I have great friends, but some girls have more. It seems like everything goes right for some girls and I think it should go that way for me because, get this, I THINK I DESERVE IT! I couldn’t be further from the truth! I deserve Hell because I’m a sinner, but by the grace of God, I get heaven! In the words of the Newsboys, “When we don’t get what we deserve, it’s a real good thing… when we get what we don’t deserve, it’s a real good thing…”

I feel like I have many great attributes, but the sooner I realize that no good characteristic comes from me, that is that it is God’s, the sooner I’ll be able to humble myself to the point where I’m no longer jealous, I’m no longer envious, and I’m no longer prideful, because “I” am no longer. There only is God.

Not the usual poem

I am doing sooo well today! Praise God! Maybe it’s something in the autumn air, maybe it’s something to do with finally being with people close to my own age, but whatever it is, I’m very refreshed and ready to fight the good fight! The keys to my upcoming success will be advisers, faith, and hard work. I will succeed. I will give up everything I think I know, and rely on God’s truth. I won’t fail again. Praise God, it feels so good to be alive… and soon it will feel so good to be asleep! haha *hugs and love to all*

May God bless and keep you now and always!

Anon

Searching for the truth

Searching for comfort
I found it at last
A deep pit of love
I fell in it fast
His dark brown hair
His gorgeous blue eyes
And his warm soft embrace
Gave me butterflies
I searched for comfort
And I thought it would last
But relying on soft soap
It slipped into the past
I thought it would free me
Remove all my fear
But searching for comfort
In the end, brought me despair
Down at the bottom
I let myself go
I gave me away
So my character could grow
I began searching for truth
And that’s where I’ve been
Figuring out who
Why, where and when
No more wishful thinking
I know I’ve a purpose
I must keep seeking God
And maybe one day it will surface

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These are my own little wanderings based on a C.S. Lewis quote.

Anon

Eros = romantic love

A Step Away from Eros

That they loved could not be denied
But a character of his love he chose to hide
Was that his love was a step away from eros

She gave love freely and he seemed to accept
But he could not return for his heart was inept
Because his love was a step away from eros

He could take the denial no more
So as he left, before closing the door
He told her his love was a step away from eros

She pleaded with him that it just wasn’t true
His actions, his words she desperately knew
Were signs that his love had been eros

But he held fast to his choice, his face set in stone
Denying her advances and leaving alone
The woman whose love had been eros

She cried in her bed, suicidal thoughts in her head
Wishing that all her emotions were dead
To knowing his love was a step away from eros

For months at a time her mixed feelings collided
Until she gave everything to the God she confided
Whose love was agape

He looked deep inside and cleaned up her heart
Gave her hope for a brand new start
Beginning by letting her step away from eros

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This was a poem my brain made me write so that it would allow me to go to sleep. I know it’s not great… not even good, but it is written none the less. Really the last 2 stanzas are the only thing worth reading.

Anon

Nothing But the Blood

What can wash away my sin?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus;
What can make me whole again?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

Refrain

Oh! precious is the flow
That makes me white as snow;
No other fount I know,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

For my pardon, this I see,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus;
For my cleansing this my plea,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

Refrain

Nothing can for sin atone,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus;
Naught of good that I have done,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

Refrain

This is all my hope and peace,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus;
This is all my righteousness,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

Refrain

Now by this I’ll overcome—
Nothing but the blood of Jesus,
Now by this I’ll reach my home—
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

Refrain

Glory! Glory! This I sing—
Nothing but the blood of Jesus,
All my praise for this I bring—
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

Refrain

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This is, of course, not my own, but I find it very comforting right now. I’ll try not to make a habit out of posting others’ work, but for now, it’s a good reminder of all that’s been done for me.

Anon

I Melt Away

I formed an igloo
To keep you warm
But you go outside
And I melt away

I swum in your well
To chill your water
But you switch to coffee
And I melt away

I was a sculpture
Of beauty and hope
But now I soak in the ground
Because I melt away

I wish I was more
But left in the sun
I melt away
And my water runs

Perhaps there’s a place
Where I’ll be reformed
Where the world is cold
So I won’t melt away

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Not my best work, I know… just sort of a spur of the moment poem.

What I see

Staring at a photograph
Focusing on her face
As she stares back at me
Every hair in place

Some people see a model
Others see a goth
Some people says she’s pretty
Others say she’s Hot

What I see are sultry lips
What I see are adulterous eyes
What I see are all the thoughts
She tries so desperately to hide

What I see is nothing to gawk at
What I see is nothing to like
What I see is just another lost soul
In need of Jesus Christ

Stranger things have happened

Will I find you when I’m seeking God
Stranger things have happened
Will I find you when I want no man
Stranger things have happened
Will you show up at my door one day
With a dozen roses a note that says
You’re the only one I’ll ever love
I say stranger things have happened

It’s not my place to know God’s will
But I’m to give Him all and love you still
To stretch my heart and forget my self
Stranger things have happened
Stranger things have happened

Will I put my hope alone in Him
Stranger things have happened
Will I surrender to Him my every whim
Stranger things have happened
If He offers me life or a tainted love
Will I choose the one that’s just enough
Or the one that helps me serve God best
I say stranger things have happened

It’s not my place to know God’s will
But I’m to give Him all and love you still
To stretch my heart and forget my self
Stranger things have happened
Stranger things have happened

I may not get my happy ending
Stranger things have happened
I may not receive the love you’re sending
Stranger things have happened
You may not truly win my heart
But serving God is the place to start
If you want to be the one I love
Stranger things have happened

I can’t give you my heart, but I’ll give you my hand
I’ll share my life with you, but you must understand
I no longer am whole, so God needs my core
I can’t let you in until my heart is restored
But know that stranger things have happened

It’s not my place to know God’s will
But I’m to give Him all and love you still
To stretch my heart and forget my self
Stranger things have happened
Stranger things have happened

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Anon